Rough..

It's been... a rough week.

Nothing particularly bad happened per se, but emotionally I've been on edge... Probably partially attributable to the curse and most likely a direct result of the fact that took the last pill of my ADHD medication on Tuesday and didn't go and get more until Friday.

The medication situation was just me being lazy.

I think THE most irritating thing about ADHD medication is the fact that the vast majority of choices (like all except for one) are Schedule II controlled substances, which means the medications have a high potential for abuse (and resale on the street) so the way prescriptions are filled is a little more stringently controlled than other medications. When it's time for a refill, I have to call the doctor's office that I need one 24-48 hours ahead, go to the doctor's office and pick up a paper prescription, and go to the pharmacy and wait for 20 minutes for it to be filled before I can go home.

My mistake was in the pickup... I knew I was running out on Monday and called... Tuesday is my car day, so what I should have done was left Matt off at work and then gone to the doctor's office... but I didn't. Too tired to deal with it, I went home... and then Wednesday and Thursday I couldn't seem to muster up the will to take the car for the day despite the fact it would have made my life a hell of a lot easier in the long run. So, it wasn't until Friday that I went to the doctor's office and got my refill prescription and got to the pharmacy. Sigh.

It really is staggering how much of a difference it does make. Wednesday and Thursday, normally my two most productive days of the week, were miserable. I was so incredibly easy to set off course that it isn't even funny... I'd start off working on one project, five minutes later switch to another, then someone would ping me with a question about another... At one point on Thursday I was sitting with four different clients projects open on my computer in tears because I couldn't remember what I was supposed to be doing for who, and wasn't entirely sure what to start on first.

Friday the guilt had kicked in.

The trouble with having an unproductive Wednesday and Thursday for me is that it generally leads to having a very miserable guilt-laden weekend. When this happens, I generally sleep longer than normal and feel the need to be chained the computer because I feel the need to be working... Except for the fact that I generally get nothing done because of the fact Matt is home and he makes lots of noise.

I have a bit of a noise problem. As in, if I'm in an environment where there are a lot of surrounding sounds... talking, television, music, video game noises, etc... I have an extreme difficulty filtering them out and doing something else, like work, or reading, or writing... This ends up being somewhat problematic when Matt's home because he's usually doing something that creates noise, which makes getting tasks that need concentration difficult to get done.

So, a snowball effect tends to take place on these sort of weekends... I feel bad about my crummy productivity and want to make it up, Matt makes noise and distracts me, I start doing something that doesn't take concentration but then start feeling badly about not doing work, I get mad at Matt for making noise, angry and feeling crummy I try to go into office to get work done, he makes noise, I get distracted, and so on and so on...

This combined with hormonal fluctuations due to the curse's arrival and departure? Um. Yeah. I haven't been the most pleasant person to be around this weekend. Is it Monday yet? I want to start over.