I am thoroughly convinced that I have got to have some of the strangest issues when it comes to the overall concept of routines and having a routine.

I had a mild short lived obsession with routines when I had first started reading the FlyLady Sink Reflections book. Assuming that people aren't familiar with FlyLady at all, here's a short recap... It's more or less this system of home organization that at it's heart more or less boils down to making small changes in the way you're doing things or as she calls them "baby steps" and the establishment of routines that you stick to. You start out with morning and bedtime routines, then if you have more that you want to add, you can.

Part of this process was writing the routines out and putting them in what in the FlyLady program is called a "control journal"... and this is where I started screwing up.

I really like the concept of the Control Journal. More or less, it's a centralized space for things like routines, todo lists, grocery lists, meal plans, bills, schedules, address books, etc. Something like a three ring binder for this sort of thing...

The problem for me was, I don't do well with data organization on paper.

One of the reasons I absolutely love the computer is because data can be manipulated, moved, reordered in a way that's not going look terrible, or be confusing, or potentially clutter my kitchen counter.

Printing things makes them physical and permanent. This is well embodied for me when it came to my routine lists. They drove me nuts. One of the suggested things to do was to order things on the routine in the order they should be done.

I tried to do that when I made them, but the reality of the matter is, I may do X, Y and Z when I get up in the morning, but I'm just as likely to do Z, Y, and X or X, Z and Y, or Y, X and Z... you get the picture. I'll get the tasks done, but I almost never do things in the same order every single morning. Not that there's anything wrong with that, because who cares as long as it gets done... but since it was on a piece of paper in the form of a checklist, I wanted to do it in order. I wanted to see it in order. But it wasn't in order and checking things off not in order drive me nuts.

Likewise, there were things on the list that I wanted to incorporate into my morning routine... Things like going over to the gym and running on the treadmill for 15 minutes, but since I don't consider that vaguely fun I'd only do it once in awhile, and it would remain unchecked and I'd feel guilty because there was something unchecked on my list.

The physical embodiment of the list just sorta made me mental in a way that probably makes me sound off my rocker.

I'm still searching for my way of doing things... I still can't remember to do normal things that most people can remember to do on a regular basis.... Like to go to the grocery store and actually plan to buy more than ingredients for one meal.

I get the heebies by not totally flying by the seat of my pants at all times. Planning ahead gets me upset because I usually plan for one thing and change my mind when I get there.

But that aside, I got to thinking this evening about how easily I feel like I get thrown off balance. How frustrated I get when my so-called "routine" gets messed with. And why sometimes I'm totally fine with the spontaneity of life, and other times I'm not.

For example, right now I feel like I was thrown for a loop today because I had to take some time out of my day to go take the car to be inspected. It isn't my usual lack of sleep excuse either... I knew a bit an advance and made sure I was in bed and able to sleep at a reasonable hour last night. But I just couldn't get in the swing of doing anything today... I was awake to take Matt to work, but I came home and slept even though I didn't need to really. When I got up, I didn't want to start doing anything because I knew I'd have to leave in an hour or to to go to the car dealership, and then when I came home with my husband I just felt mad that I didn't get anything done that I'd planned on doing. The day's not over so I'm sure I'll accomplish something this evening once he goes to bed... but I just feel unbalanced, I usually have accomplished SOMETHING during the day.

The fact that the 4th of July is Friday isn't helping either. My week is short. Most people appreciate that extra day off, but me? Not so much. I feel like someone short changed me on time. It's not that I don't like holidays.... I do. It just messes with the old routine of knowing how much time I have to accomplish things.